Mark Forrester - Independent digital designer and online entrepreneur

Just to make something clear: I don’t grow weed, I don’t sell weed, I don’t want to buy a hydro system, and I know it is illegal in most countries.

Why am I telling you this? Well it seems that the articles I posted in April of last year about a mysterious weed bush that popped up in my mother’s back garden, that then subsequently got eaten by our dog, is doing quite well with Google. In fact if you type “Weed bush” into Google I come up second in the search results. Second!

If you type in “Mother’s weed” I come up first in the Google search results! I’m sure my mother is very proud of me for making sure she can be found on Google. Similarly if you search Google for “My mother is growing weed” I come up first too.

By writing this post I am probably further promoting it’s ranking, so it is probably not the best idea. I just find it too hilarious though. Almost as hilarious as some of the comments posted by stoned weirdos.

P.S. Can anyone help one of my readers, Rob. I’m sure he’d appreciate a professional opinion:
“Hi all, what do I do if my plants leafs are going brawn on the edges its just started budding and is about 4ft 5in high all the new leaves look good and the buds little white bits are about 5/8 of a inch am I doing something wrong “

I’m sure the man upstairs will not take this offensively and hopefully find it quite hilarious.

I was on the bus this afternoon, the 57 bus, returning from Wimbledon town. The bus was pretty empty…. that was until we picked up every Wimbledon school boy in a 10 mile radius. Surrounded by a bunch of snotty youngsters, who obviously believed it was very trendy to tie their school ties with the smallest windsor knot imaginable, I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on their conversation.

Snot 1: “What you wearing to Charlie’s party this weekend?”

Snot 2: “My mum got me a red Grandpa’s top. It’s well cool.”

Snot 1: “Well cool. I got two of those, one white one and one green one.”

Snot 2: “Yeah they well cool.”

If I had said I was wearing a Grandpa’s top to my mate’s party when I was a lighty I would have gotten the sh%t kicked out of me and then some. Grandpa’s tops are now cool. Cardigans are well cool.

The shocking news was still to come though.

Snot 2 announces to Snot 1 and other snots: “Alex and me are going for Brazilians this weekend.”

Silence. Say what? I tried not to stare. Surely not. Does he mean a Brazilian wax?

Snot 1 answers far to excitedly: “NO WAY! Well cool. Can I come?”

Snot 2: “Sorry mate, it’s just me and Alex. We having our sack and crack done.”

Snot 1 is very envious. “Well cool. What about your back?”

Snot 2: “Nah. I don’t have any hair there.”

No sh%t you don’t have any hair there.

You’re like 15!

Ok I suppose it’s only funny if you watched the movie “300“.

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