The Youth of Today

Windsor KnotI was on the bus this afternoon, the 57 bus, returning from Wimbledon town. The bus was pretty empty…. that was until we picked up every Wimbledon school boy in a 10 mile radius. Surrounded by a bunch of snotty youngsters, who obviously believed it was very trendy to tie their school ties with the smallest windsor knot imaginable, I couldn’t help but eavesdrop on their conversation.

Snot 1: “What you wearing to Charlie’s party this weekend?”

Snot 2: “My mum got me a red Grandpa’s top. It’s well cool.”

Snot 1: “Well cool. I got two of those, one white one and one green one.”

Snot 2: “Yeah they well cool.”

If I had said I was wearing a Grandpa’s top to my mate’s party when I was a lighty I would have gotten the sh%t kicked out of me and then some. Grandpa’s tops are now cool. Cardigans are well cool.

The shocking news was still to come though.

Snot 2 announces to Snot 1 and other snots: “Alex and me are going for Brazilians this weekend.”

Silence. Say what? I tried not to stare. Surely not. Does he mean a Brazilian wax?

Snot 1 answers far to excitedly: “NO WAY! Well cool. Can I come?

Snot 2: “Sorry mate, it’s just me and Alex. We having our sack and crack done.”

Snot 1 is very envious. “Well cool. What about your back?”

Snot 2: “Nah. I don’t have any hair there.”

No sh%t you don’t have any hair there.

You’re like 15!

11 thoughts on “The Youth of Today”

  1. Hey, fashion comes in cycles – grandpa tops were cool when I was a kid.

    But you gotta be shitting me about the Brazilians? Seriously?

    I tell you what, if you ever want a racist to understand that much much much more has to do with class and education than the very little that has to do with race, you just have to take them on a London bus. My word. I’ve seen and heard the wierdest people.

  2. Completely serious!

    I could sit on a London Bus all day studying the people getting on and off it, such a mixed bunch. The best are the night buses at 3am on a Saturday night, now there you see some weirdos.

  3. 3am wierdos? Oops, could be me…

    Or any number of friends.

    (of, course, only when I’m in London and trying to find my way home from some club).

  4. IITQ: I’m talking about the 3am weirdo’s leaving Camden Town!

    Mike: I don’t even want to contemplate what it feels like.

    Wezzo: That was my first impression, but they were wee jocks. Mini Prince Williams. Metro bordering on ubersexuals.

    Martin: Propa cool.

  5. Uh-huh -as I said – could well be me on my way back from the Electric Ballroom in Camden…

    With my friend “surfing” the floor in the middle of the last night bus…

  6. GW: Good question. I would think the average teenager’s would have. But I’m not a specialist in that area I’m afraid.

    IITQ: Yup you one of them it sounds!

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